Sw33t as Sugar
by Jacky Morgan
Summary: Nepeta and Karkat traverse LOLCAT together. One-shot, Katnep.


Sprawled out underneath the bright yellow skies were two trolls of distinctly colored garments, one in dark red and one in deep violet. They had been there, looking up into the sky, looking at the tea kettles adorned with felines, and smelling sugar wherever they went. The Land of Little Cubes and Tea wasn't exactly breathtaking, but it was still interesting. After all, an entire land full of sugar cubes with varying sizes of tea kettles as far as the eye can see was anything but vapid. Towering teapots with kitty designs that permeated heat and sweet-smelling tea could be seen in the distance, with little wisps of smoke coming out of the necks of the kettles. Large mountains of sugar were piled far out in the distance, giant mounds of saccharine that would crumble if someone did so much as throw a stone at it.

Sugar cubes weren't a very comfortable place to lie down though, no matter how intriguing the scenery was. It hadn't been long until Karkat was starting to complain about how much it "fucking hurt everywhere lying in this shit". It wasn't long after that until he got up and dusted the crushed sugar off his shoulders.

"_God_, is there _no solid ground here _that isn't covered in sugar cubes? I'm going to fucking lose it if-"

"We can go somewhere else," Nepeta interjected, giggling a little, "nobody _efur _said we were stuck here. We can go adventuring!"

"At least there's _one_ good thing about being dead."

"And...?"

"And what? That's about the only 'salvation' we fucking get being dead here."

"I was _refurring _to our matespurritship."

"That's a completely diffurent matter. No, wait, shit. _Different_. God. You and your contagious fucking cat puns."

Nepeta purred like a happy lioness, pleased with the influence she serendipitously had on her matesprit. She then furrowed her brow after comprehending the first part of Karkat's response to her question. She sat up and tried getting all the crunched up sugar out of her hair.

"Diffurent? How?"

"We were matesprits before I died. I take it my alternate asshole self wasn't your matesprit before you died in your timeline?"

"Uh, no, he-"

"That's so fucking like him. Now do you see why I hate other Karkats so much? They're all stupid asses who do nothing but bang on their keyboards yelling out giant streams of fucking nonsensical bullshit. Then they fucking _drown _in their stream of bullshit, choking on every bullshit word they ever said."

Nepeta laughed, and playfully punched Karkat's shoulder.

"Sometimes you make no sense!"

Karkat sighed, and crossed his arms. He closed his eyes, and indignantly huffed.

"Maybe to someone who isn't a leader."

"You're not the leader anymore, gunklehead!"

"I was the leader in _my _timeline," Karkat replied, opening one of his eyes, "so from my perspective, I'm still endowed with all the fucking knowledge you gain as a leader. It's logic."

Nepeta got up, dusted her dress of, and grabbed Karkat's arm.

"Can we go to Terezi's land? It's purretty there!"

Karkat mumbled something under his breath, but arose with Nepeta in any case. The two started traversing through the saccharine landscape, with Nepeta pointing out teacups she liked and Karkat yelling about the sugar cubes.

"It'd be much cooler if there weren't those creepy think pans floating everywhere like a bunch of slimy scraps of grubloaves everywhere. God, that place freaks me out."

"Look, Karkitty, look! I like that one, with the purrety handle and the kitty with a curly black tail! Hee hee, look at that one, with the big yellow eyes! Oh, and that furnny, silly one with its tongue sticking out!"

"Who the fuck designed these planets? What the hell was that moron thinking when he had to come up with a planet? Seriously, was he so fucking insane that he actually thought that a world full of blocks of saccharine would be a rational kind of building material? How many bricks hit that complete dolt's think pan?"

Their relationship was an interesting one, to say the least; it was hard to believe someone who never really saw the negative side of something could get along so well with someone who always looked for the first thing he could complain about. Perhaps it was because opposites attract, one might think. But it was something else, too. Something Karkat knew and Nepeta didn't really think about.

"I can see it from here!"

"See what?"

"The brainy place! Duh!"

Karkat stumbled up to the sugar cube mountain where Nepeta was standing and jumping. Karkat caught up with her, huffing about his God Tier clothes.

"I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm in the biggest fucking inferno ever when I'm wearing this thing. I feel like I'm going to erupt like a fucking volcano wearing this, and proceed to sweat out a gigantic load of hateful sweat that I'll use to dissolve this asphyxiating piece of shit."

He pushed some sweat off his forehead and stood next to Nepeta.

"God, I'm so glad we're out of that world of disaccharide agony."

Nepeta looked at Karkat, a concerned look on her face.

"Agony? Karkat, if it's too hard fur you, we don't have to go back there. I just like it fur the kitty teapots!"

Karkat didn't say anything. He looked down at his shoes and kicked some sugar cubes down the hill, and watched them jostle each other before toppling down off of the pile.

"Karkat?"

"It's nothing. You. Just. Never mind, it's not important. If it were, I would've told you long ago, because it would've been the only thing that I actually gave a flying shit about."

"No, tell me!"

"Nepeta, what part of 'not important' isn't running through your think pan right now?"

"Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell-"

"Fine," Karkat groaned, pushing Nepeta, who had been practically clambering on him, away, "God, you don't have to get so fucking annoying about it. The whole reason I was your matesprit, back in the other timeline, was for reason like that."

"Like what?"

"Being so," here Karkat send a cascade of cubes down the pile with his foot.

"Being what? Am I nice? Am I pawsome? Oh, do you really actually like kitties?"

Karkat didn't give Nepeta a reply; he just kicked a few more cubes down the pile, watching them break upon their impact. Nepeta didn't offer any response, but her shipping expertise made her quite cognizant with body language, and all of its variants of expression. She could tell Karkat just wasn't used to having someone be as nice to him as she usually was-after all, she wouldn't dream of being mean to her purrecious Karkitty. She knew he was hiding some adorable gratitude behind his even more adorable grumpiness.

"You deserve it! Or, uh, deserved, when you were alive."

"I'm glad you think so, but, God, you're so stupid for thinking that. I still can't believe I have a matespritship with you."

"Maybe you're just surpurrised?"

"This was a pretty fucking shitty surprise, then."

Nepeta chuckled, and gave Karkat a shove, and sent him toppling through sugar cubes. As the Knight of Blood tumbled down the sugar hill (yelling profanities of the ugliest nature the entire way down), Nepeta dove after him, riding down the sugary slope with him. The sound of sugar crunching and little cubes colliding and bouncing off each other could be heard in the sweet avalanche Nepeta had caused. Nepeta dove after her toppling matesprit, joining him on his tumble down the sugary slope of cubes. The sound of sugar crunching beneath their feet, backs, and hands could be heard, along with the sound of little cubes bumping into and bouncing off each other. They rode down most of the hill in the sugar cube avalanche.

Karkat's tumble halted when he groped wildly at the sugar and slowed his fall. He lay there, gripping the sugar with vexed expression on his face. Nepeta, who had stopped falling next to Karkat, laughed and threw a couple cubes at Karkat.

"Wasn't that fun?"

"It was the most fucking fun I've had in _furever_," Karkat replied, very sarcastically, "thanks, so much, for that."

Nepeta plopped down into the sugar hill, and leaned over to him. Giving him a warm and strong hug, she apologized for pushing him, and was given a gruff response. Something like "that's about as fucking okay as tearing someone's arm off", but Nepeta didn't care about the exact words.

After a few moments, Karkat returned Nepeta's hug. A little olive blush appeared on Nepeta's face as she felt the warmth of Karkat go through her, and she couldn't _pawsibly _stifle a purr. Karkat broke his usual manner of never smiling for the most fleeting of moments, and ran his hands through the kitty girl's hair. Nepeta curled up against her matesprit, content on his shoulder, and even more content knowing he was just pretending to be annoyed. She pulled her arms around his shoulders and ever-so-slightly gave him a peck on the cheek.

It was at that moment the two began to remember why they were leaving LOLCAT in the first place-because, God, sugar cubes were a damn uncomfortable thing to lie down in.

* * *

A/N: I'd like to thank psychoInnocent for being an awesome beta-reader, once again!


End file.
